The Gift of Resistance
I could never envy someone with an easy life. What joy, what satisfaction, what pride, could possibly arise from an existence where one was never tested, where one could never overcome the pangs of struggle, hardship, and failure to ultimate victory? A “privileged”, luxurious life”, could only be seen as a blessing through the foggy lens of ignorance. Don’t those who lavish in their shallow comforts and reap the low-hanging fruit of their fortunate ascription fail to realize that the berries that bloom in the highest and remotest regions, guarded by foreboding austerity, taste the sweetest?
And what might those daring, hardy ones who brave these altitudes to reap the salubrious gifts of nature that await only them, see when gaze back down into the mild valleys where their staid neighbors remain? How small, how ant-like they must appear to these climbers! How trite and routine their activities must seem! All of their resting, gathering, traveling, conversing, resemble the monotonous activities of social arthropods. To those who strive upward, those who are content to remain in the safety of the warm and familiar, suffer from two-dimensional sight. They cannot even realize the true beauty of their beloved homes, because what greater ecstasy is there, than a warm welcome, fresh from a hard-won victory? To those high-reaching climbers, the sun shines brighter, the permeating scent of flowers and pines is richer, and the heartfelt smiles of friends and family are more radiant.
The greatest rewards in life are reserved for strong hearts and adventurous souls.
“The Iron and the Soul”
Henry Rollins, a longtime artist and hardcore punk icon, stands today as a paragon of intensity, drive, conviction, and forthright honesty. Throughout his career with the hardcore band, Black Flag, and later solo projects in music and acting, Rollins distinguished himself with his unapologetic authenticity. He spoke his mind and acted according to his principles with an admirably frank uprightness that could only ground itself upon a solid foundation of conviction in principles and self-respect. In all of this, Rollins sets an example of one who can recognize his own strengths and accomplishments without arrogance. He possesses a brand of humility that is a natural outgrowth of true strength.
According to Rollins, however, these admirable attributes were not granted – they were hard-won. In his essay “The Iron and the Soul”, first published in Details magazine in 1994, he chronicles his struggle for identity, reinvention, and authenticity. The essay is like Rollins himself – direct, honest, and powerful. His blunt and uncompromising prose is a dense autobiography of Rollin’s evolution from a “product of all the fear and humiliation I [he] suffered” to the steadfast, accomplished, and self-assured role model he is now.
Rollins begins by recounting the fear and rejection he once experienced from his parents, teachers, and classmates he once felt, along with his desire to fit in despite it all. His social network was confined to a small group of “other losers”, people Rollins heartfeltly recalls as “some of the greatest people he’s ever known.” For Rollins, his role in school was to be antagonized. Rollins looks back, writing that he hated himself all the time.
Thankfully, as Rollins was being consumed by his rage and self-hatred, one of the teachers, Mr. Pepperman, reached out to the young Rollins. Mr. P., as Rollins referred to him, was a “powerfully-built Vietnam veteran”, an imposing figure that commanded respect and possessed an unmistakable aura of authority. Rollins wrote that Mr. P. noticed the bad shape Rollins was in, and convinced him to buy a 100- pound weight set at the gym. At first reluctant, Rollins eventually did so. Mr. P then gave him a run-through of basic exercises, and told Rollins to start hitting the weights.
Rollins jumped in that night, fully committed. At school, Mr. P. would ambush him in the hallways, delivering surprise gut punches that would drop young Rollins to his knees and send his books flying. He was not to look in a mirror, and he was told to keep the project a secret. Rollins kept at it, and as he did, he writes that he could “sense the power is myself [himself] growing.”
Just before Christmas break, Mr. P. delivered a punch. This time, Rollins didn’t even flinch – he laughed. Mr. P. told him he could look in the mirror. When Rollins got home, he tore his shirt off, looked in the mirror, and saw a body transformed. “My biceps bulged. My chest had definition. I felt strong. It was the first time I can remember having a sense of myself. I had done something and no one could ever take it away. You couldn’t say shit to me.”
Mr. P. gave Henry Rollins a priceless gift that offered him a path toward growth and changed his life forever. In “the Iron”, Rollins found an honest friend, teacher, and even an anti-depressant. It taught him that, “there is no better way to fight weakness than with strength”. He identified it as a remedy to the bullshit that people say to you – that “the iron never lies to you”, that it will always “kick you the real deal.” It grounds your feet to the grass.
It also taught him about pain. He writes that, “the material you work with is that which you will come to resemble.” The iron taught him that pain was not his enemy, but his “call to greatness”. The iron provided him the challenge he needed to rise to new heights, to learn what he was made of, and to strengthen himself against its benevolent resistance. In this way, the Iron was always a true friend to him. It is easy to be a yes-man, a coddler, or a sycophant. But an agreeable companion can only offer comfort, which is a veritable toxin when enjoyed past its limits. But the Iron pushed him forward and rewarded him for his efforts. Even when he pushed himself too far, resulting in injury, Rollins appreciated the lesson the Iron taught him in restraint and self-control. He learned the true role of pain, and that the real challenge in life is not how to avoid pain, but how to interpret it correctly.
Conclusion
“The Iron” was the mountain for Henry Rollins. It was his call to ascension, it was the material he used to understand, strengthen, and reinvent himself. It showed him the power of pushing past his limits, appreciating honesty, and embracing pain as a harsh but kind teacher. In short, it taught Rollins – and offers to teach us – that the greatest rewards in life are on the other side of the challenges that it places in front of us. Where would he be if he had never discovered “The Iron”? What if Mr. Pepperman had never reached out to him when he was a self-identified “loser” in high school? Without Mr. Pepperman’s guidance, he may never have found his strength or cultivated his self-respect. And yes, with the Iron, Rollins built his self-respect from the ground up.
And what about you, reader? Have you found your “Iron”? Have you already set foot toward the summit of your mountain?